I have certain nihilistic tendencies, but I channel them into equanimity.
My mother, while a very loving woman, is devoid of equanimity. She carries other people's worries. Her classroom comes home with her every single day. She finds the Sad in the funny stories I tell about my Alzheimer's patients in hospice. She cannot stop worrying about my sister, her students, my brother, random people she reads about in the news, or the state of education in Massachusetts.
After I gave shiatsu to a yogini friend this weekend, she said, "Sometimes I feel spaced out or exhausted after massages. Instead, I feel like the shiatsu put me in a state of equanimity."
6 months ago